December 16, 2008

Things my momma taught me(a little tribute)

I know, I know, don't faint that I'm doing 2 posts in one day. Actually wanted to do this one last year, but just wasn't in the place to do it. And I didn't really ever call her momma, it was always Mom, Mommy, or as I got older & if I was annoyed with her it was Mother(spoken with an attitude & heaviness on the ther). But my girls call me momma, so thus the title.

Probably first & foremost, my mom pounded into my head & heart that "God always provides." Seeing as how we are still among the unemployed, this is truly a good thing to know & have heart knowledge of, not just head knowledge. She taught me the principles of giving (and receiving, but I'm not always a gracious receiver). She taught me honesty and integrity. She taught me that if I'm going to do things to do my very best, do it right the first time & you won't have to do it over again. And she taught me that can't never did anything. Huh? you may be saying. If you say you can't do something you are right- you can't & you will never do anything in life if you continue to say "I can't do____."
She told me that wait broke the wagon down & makes it too hard to carry. No that isn't a typo- she wasn't talking about weight, but when I was little & would say "wait, mommy, wait!"
As a teenager & young adult in my early 20's, my mom and I had open and honest conversations about sex. My mom knew I tried many things(sex, drugs & rock n' roll) after the fact and she didn't necessarily condone them, but she loved me none the less.
She almost always let me sit in her lap; even well into my 20's. I remember I had gotten one of the Beatrix Potter books at the gas station & I sat in her lap & she read it to me. She was the coolest mom. I remember when I turned 21 & she took me out for my 1st "official" drink. But she didn't want me to drink & drive & so when I went out for my 25th b-day & was too drunk to drive, she came & picked me up.

We didn't always have the best relationship. I remember shortly after my folks got divorced and I must not have been too happy with the rules at our house. I wrote her a letter telling her I wanted a divorce too. She kept that letter in her wallet, I think until the day she died. I remember when I realized that going to church wasn't just something we did on Sundays, but it was about a personal relationship with Jesus Christ; I said some not very nice things about my parents and how they had raised me in "religion" and not taught me anything. I later realized that what they did teach me gave me the foundation I have today. I remember her not being very happy with me when I told her I wanted to be baptized again, because it was a choice my parents had made for me. It wasn't a very good conversation & shortly after that conversation she thought I had joined a cult. Thankfully, she realized that I hadn't joined a cult & we repaired our relationship.

I hope I can be as good a mom to my girls, as my mother was for me. Miss you lots, Lucy!

1 comment:

Pegsy said...

That was really special. A little "window" into your past and into your heart. Thank you for sharing with us. I pray the Lord will continue to heal your heart and fill the void that your mom left. It's wonderful that you have so many memories and lessons that you will carry with you for always.